Welcome to Counselling Research Institute of Kenya
Parents Should Use the Long Holiday to Enhance Children Success Instead of Complaining
- Details
- Written by Stephen Kamore
- Hits: 1165
Let me admit that many parents raising children between the age of one to about 10 years do enjoy parenting because children are in a stage generally referred to as command age. All significant others are perceived as authority and respects by children. Children at this stage children simply obey their significant others without questions. So every parent is happy and keep confessing of the good children in the family.
However as teenage approaches the child changes drastically and start challenging the status quo in the family, school and society in general. They enter a new stage generally referred to as consent age. They discover there is what they can no obey if significant others commands and there is what they want to do even significant others do approve. This marks the beginning of conflicts between parents and their children, teachers and students and society in general. The most frustrating thing is that most parent get stuck on command stage and fail to transit with their teenage children through engaging them in a heathy dialogue.
Anyway, let me refocus to the topic under discuss. Any good parent want their children to stay out of trouble, do well in school and go on doing awesome things as adults. This desire for our children to succeed in life is not automatic. Parents must play a core role in influencing their children success in life. There is no recipe for raising successful children. However, psychology research has pointed out few factors that can help a parent nurture and predict success in their children
1. Making children learn responsibility by making them do chores. Many parent allow their children to idle at home while house helpers do everything for them. Behaviour disorder can be nurtured by parents failing to supervise their children and allowing them lead a responsibility free childhood life. Parents must take advantage of the long holiday to help children learn the value of work and team spirit. By allowing them cook, wash their clothes, help in bed making, cleaning of the house, cooking meals, helping in the farm work and going for simple shopping. By making them do chores children realize they have to work in life in order to be part of life.
2. Create time and teach children social skills. Research has shown correlation between children social skills and their success as adults. Instead of perceiving the ongoing school vacation long and challenging , parents should perceive it as an opportunity to interact with children and address their life skills deficit. We keep complaining our children do not know how to solve conflicts, make friend,make decision, manage time among others. It is time to plan and equip them with the expected skills when at home. Do not allow them over sleep or just waste time. Do not solve conflicts for them....show them how to interact with their friends. Helping children develop social and emotional skills is one of the most important assignment we can accomplish to prepare them for a healthy future. This should be done gradually through practical activities and interventions. From the early age, these skills can determine whether a child goes to college or prison, and whether a child end up employed or addicted.
3. Create time to nurture healthy relationship with the children. Be happy for the first time in resent history of school calendar children have longest holiday. This is the best moment for parents to be close to the children. Spare most of the free time to spend with children. Children who relates well with their parent tend to perform better in academic and life. Its time for our children to enjoy parental care and warmth. Create a day out for them allow the them play with you...take the opportunity to explore their challenges in school,with friends and life in general. Its not time to rebuke them and eroding their self- esteem. Personally am enjoying my moment with my teenage boy. Today we woke up together and prepared breakfast for the family. Then I created time to explore his weaknesses in school. I learned some things about him for the first time. What a great experience.
4. Aspire to be a role model to the children. Its not about being perfect but setting example to progress in education and occupation. Studies have shown that parents who finished college are more likely to raise children that did the same. My point is " make efforts to model what we demand of our children. Children below 18 years learn mostly through imatating models in society and especially in their families. Model reading culture by buying good motivational books read and encourage them to read too. Them share great lessons learnt from the book. Give them something to type for you as they learn typing skills. Write a story and ask them to copy as they read or write an interesting story for you to read after work. This requires creativity on the part of the parent.
5. Create a friendly home environment for the children by by minimizing and avoiding conflicts as parents. This the is best gift we can give to our children. Children in high - conflict families, whether intact or divorced, tend to fare worse than children of parents that get along. Parents should purpose to avoid all conflicts as gift to children. Instead direct all energy is enhancing children success.
6. Agree on values to enhance in your children. Do not over exaggerate. Start simple. For example start with just simple cleanliness enhancing duties like making beds, keeping the house tidy and organized, saying thank you after being served with meals, appreciating them for any effort made in doing something differently. Simply plan deliberate values you want your children learn this holiday. Home is the best school where best values are learned. Purpose to make the best out of your children this holiday and in the future.
Make the holiday exciting and ensure your children will open school better than they closed.
Keep following www.crikeonline.org for more enlightening practical information to enrich you personal life, family and career.
By Stephen Kamore
For more information call 0729156200